When It's Over, It's Over

Is It the beginning of the end?

In long-term relationships, it's easy to mistake routine for commitment. It starts with a morning kiss and culminates in passionate lovemaking. But then, life intervenes. Work and the kids take priority. The gym may or may not become your second home. Friends drift away, their goodbyes replaced by Facebook emojis.

This is when shifts occur. What was once paramount becomes an afterthought. You might ask yourself, "Is it me? Should I do more or less?" You devour every relationship book you can find, searching for answers. Then, as the sun sets, you realize that five, ten, or even fifteen years have passed. And you're almost lost without this person.

Are you feeling stuck, or are you ready to fight? Do you ask yourself, 

'I'm going to keep fighting for what's mine because I've invested too much time and energy into this relationship? The smart thing to do is to stay?'

You're right. Fifteen years passed is not fifteen years taken back. 

So stop! Stop fooling yourself.

Be an individual and stay for the right reasons.

As humans, we avoid failure because of the judgment from our family, our friends, our religion, our pets, our sexual preferences—you name it! But in reality, you deserve to be happy and be seen as a whole person, not the person they expect you to be. Because, my friends, when you live life by putting everyone else's beliefs before your own, you are giving up your human right to grow.

Don't discriminate against yourself. Love is love, period

Stay because it's what you deeply feel and desire. Stay because you are respected. Stay because you are seen & heard every day. (not sometimes)

Stay because you are not in his/her shadow. Stay because you truly want this relationship as part of your life that you chose to share. 

My sociology professor at Fairleigh Dickinson always said, "There are no soulmates, only soul companions."

Location: Liverpool, NY, USA

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